Its been a long long time since I've written my mind out. You see for the past year everything is happening so fast and quick that I hardly got time for myself. But for past week or so I am having some real quality time. I'm alone. I'm sans human company most of the time. I'm thinking all this time and analyzing thousands of things, problems, achievements, chain of events passed by...
Things which were a year back are now completely different. I have changed myself in many ways. I guess its what people call growing up. Things happen with you. You see, you go through them and by the end you learn how to deal with them, when they happen next time because at first it was just an eye opener. Every time a person does something for the first time, he or she almost rethinks his or her actions. Might have done this thing or that. Its always the same. Its the thing which makes us humane. We always look on for things could have been better, "Greener Grass". Has there been a moment in your life when you thought that " Ah this is what i always wanted to do and i wont think of any other way to perform the same." Personally speaking, I haven't. I always rethink the past moment. Although I say that I do not regret but it won't be a complete truth if I won't include the fact about rethinking my actions. You see my actions have costed me a lot. I could have had a completely different life if somethings I had done in a different way the way i did. I won't say i did wrong and things are not good right now but could have been different.
And I will always be in my thoughts at such times "Alone times" thinking about what changes could have been. Just flipping some current pictures and swapping myself with people, swapping other people with some random faces. I don't understand at times why is it that hard to accept the reality and live with it. Maybe because in your dreamworld, you had expected a lot from life. And that is the main issue. Expectations!!! It always screws the mood, your mind and people. We expect something from something else or someone, It doesn't happens and then we think "Oh my god !!! why me always at the receiving end?? Why does it happens to me??" And the answer is simple because we expect a lot. It's like building your own threshold even before the experiment is setup. It's like deciding the taste before a thing is cooked. Isn't thins thing a hinderance???
It is said that you should have some expectations but what is the limit no one tells. Its a endless boundary. And if infinity is the limit that My friend you'll get the pinch of hurt from tiny little things too. Maybe still I'm expecting a lot from life, from friends, from people around me but i know it wont take me along distance. I have to move ahead from this and built a life of my own.
Now i don't feel like continuing this thing But i wont stop here...will write more when I feel like.
